Jasmine Hart

The rhyme was really great here. I'm not so sure about the content though. It seemed a little emo-ish, and a lot of the time you were telling rather than ...

This is really great. The rhythm and sound is brilliant, and, as Clau said, the slant rhyme works excellently. If I'm being picky, I might suggest putting a one syllabyl ...

The first and third haikus are very good. I'd say "his mouth" in the second line, as you're a syllabyl short. In the second line of the thrid haiku, you're ...

Waoh Via, this is really great. I really love it. I'm not sure about "slender back." It sounds a little odd...maybe "narrow" may work better?It's a tough one... I also ...

Hi. The emotion which you express here is good, but I think that you can channel it differently. I'll get back to this in a minute, for now I want ...

Hi, welcome. First off I'd look at the format of this, as it makes for difficult reading. Maybe try something like this; "The way that it sings is like a ...

Hi. First off, I'd think about maybe rating this for content. I think the beginning is a little slow. Maybe cut the "so", and chaneg "dear" to "darling" so that ...

I love sonnets.This was a very enjoyable read. You were faithful to the meter throughout, and this flowed very well. I think I'd change the first line slightly, so that ...

This is really beautiful Bubbles. Kind of feel like I've come out of a trance after reading that... I love; "Leaning closer, I brush aside the cobwebs and taste the ...

This was brill, Matt. I love how you express yourself. Your imagery is so fresh, and you're beautifully honest. I'm not sure about the rhyme in the beginning though, it ...

Woah Via, this is some powerful stuff. Claudette and smorgishbord have covered pretty much everything. I love the internal rhyme of "hall" and "fall". I love "a bed empty, a ...

Haha. This was fun. It made me smile. I agree with Gryphon about "lots of figs". Think it would suit the rhythm better. If I really want to nit pick, ...

Since you mentioned it, it might be happier in other poetry. This was a nice idea, but could use a little tweaking. I'm not sure about; "pushing, pulling. To and ...

Hi. Welcome! First off, I'd take a look at the format of this, as it's a little sloppy, and didn't really encourage me to read this. I'd try; "I thought ...

The first thing I'm going to tell you is to show me, not to tell me. Instead of telling me that you find night frightening, suggest it to me through ...